Remember when?

This picture was taken of Hannah three years ago. I was there when she was born (obviously). I saw her squished up face, heard her lusty cry, and held her moments after they delivered her.  When she was two months old she was already an avid thumbsucker, her cheeks would dimple when she smiled and man, she sure could eat, and I was there for that. She was content, fat and happy. I was there for each benchmark, her first tooth, her first step, her first word, her first day of school. Each birthday we threw her a fun party full of family, friends and pool time.
Why am I waxing on, all nostalgic about Hannah, you ask? Because I realized when I saw this picture come up on my Timehop app today what her age was at the time it was taken. I realized that she was as old there as Tong is right now. And my heart broke.
I wasn't there when he was born. I don't know what kind of baby he was. When he was two months old, he was lying on the steps of a social services building, abandoned for reasons that will forever remain unknown, and I wonder if in his infant mind he wondered why he was alone? I don't know if he had dimples or not, I don't know if he sucked his thumb, preferred a paci, or nothing at all.  I don't know what kind of appetite he had. I wasn't there to brush away his tears when he got his first skinned knee or to kiss away the pain after his first surgery. I don't know when he took his first steps, gained his first tooth, spoke his first word. Those are precious moments that I will never have.
But you know what else I realized? Sure, all those "losses" make me sad, and always will, but it doesn't matter, not really. What matters is I will be there for his first day of kindergarten, his first crush, his first girlfriend, his graduation, his wedding. I may have missed the beginning, but I won't miss the rest. I've decided that a mother's love can transcend biology. Because I love him, and don't even know him.
I won't kid myself. There are going to be tough days ahead. He doesn't know us, and everything he does know will change. His country of birth, the folks that raised him, the comforts he is familiar with are all going to be replaced with a strange home, a mom and a dad and a passel of sisters! We look different, we sound different, we eat different. But if there is one thing I have learned about being a mother is that children are so resilient. They are so much stronger than we give them credit for. And I thank God for that. So yes, I missed the first 4 years of his life, and it's killing me to miss the next 11 months, but we're gonna be okay. Because I won't miss the rest.