One of my all time favorite movies is The Wizard of Oz. I love the story of a country girl discovering the magic of Oz awash in brilliant color, and the hilarious characters she encounters along the way. I especially favor the scene where Dorothy, Tin Man and Scarecrow enter the Haunted Forest. They've been charged by the Wizard to take the broom from the Wicked Witch of the West. They come upon the forest, which is notably dark and creepy. There is the weird sound of monkeys hooting and eerie music is slowly coming to a crescendo...
"Of course, I don't know but I think it'll get darker before it gets lighter" says our brainless Scarecrow. Dorothy swallows hard and turns to Tin Man asking, "do...do you suppose we'll meet any wild animals?" to which he glibly replies, "we might". Of course, Scarecrow worries whether the animals they'll meet will eat straw, and Tin Man, in an attempt I'm sure meant to placate him, responds, "some, but mostly lions and tigers and bears". He appears so calm when delivering that news. I guess not having a heart and all, he finds empathy a hard emotion to produce.
This declaration has Dorothy completely undone. She begins the chant, "Lions and Tigers and Bears, Oh, My!" They work themselves up into a complete frenzy of fear, then next thing you know a lion's (albeit weak) roar stops them in their tracks!
There is so much in that scene that parallels the troublesome circumstances in my life. I focus on a fear, a worry, or if I'm trying to downplay it, I may call it a concern. And then like a parasite that finds a succulent host, it latches on and begins it's vicious cycle. Lions. And tigers. And bears, OH MY! I become obsessed with this mere concern and before I know it, it owns me! I chant the fear mantra in my brain when I wake, when I'm idle, when I lay down. I worry, I fret, "What if?!?". Scenarios run through my brain with different outcomes, fear dictating my life as I second guess all my decisions, me allowing the fear to negate all I know about a God who provides.
While I may be the only weirdo out there that is reminded of that scene in the Wizard of Oz when fear takes its deadly grip, I know I'm not the only one gripped by fear. I know I'm not the only one who allows herself to be deceived that God isn't big enough. In Sunday School this past weekend, I was reminded that even the heroes of the Bible allowed fear to dictate their actions.
In the book of Judges, as we come to chapter 6, we read the story of Gideon. Backdrop: the Isrealites have yet again forsaken God. Consequently, He's allowed the Midianites to wreak holy terror on them for SEVEN years. For those ready to bash Him for this, hold on, it gets better...
The angel of the Lord comes upon this peon named Gideon, a weakling really, threshing wheat in a wine press. In case you don't realize by this description, he's hiding his harvest from the Midianites for they would surely steal it if he was out in the open where normal folk thresh their wheat. And no, I'm not being mean when I say he's a peon. Even Gideon recognizes this about himself. See along about verse 15 where he states, "Pardon me, lord [so politely], but how can I save Isreal? My clan is the weakest in Mannaseh, and I am the least in my family." Very self deprecating of you, Gideon. Anyways, back to my point, God calls Gideon, the least of the family, to save his countrymen from the tyranny of Midian. So after some whining, Gideon is finally convinced to commit to the task of freeing his people. Does this strike anyone else as familiar? God asking the impossible of the most inadequate? I love His sense of humor.
But, of course, it can never be as simple as taking God at His word. Nope, instead he must ask on several occasions for God to prove Himself. Because being God isn't enough. So God indulges him. His angel waits patiently in place while Gideon prepares a sacrifice. The angel performs a miracle with this sacrifice and convinces Gideon he's a legit angel (Judges 6: 20-22). Then God allows Gideon to perform his first task of destroying his father's altar to Baal under the cover of night, because he was afraid of angering the townspeople and his dad (Judges 6:27). Then there is the example we are more familiar with, that of the fleece. "Make it wet and the ground dry!" God concedes, but that's not enough. Gideon says "do not be angry with me, but let me make this last request! Make it dry and the ground wet!" (6:36-40). God then whittles Gideon's army down from some 30,000 troops to 300, but gives Gideon even more reassurance when He tells Gideon to go down to the enemy camp so he'll overhear some confirmation that he's gonna win this thing (7:10-11). Finally, Gideon decides this God might just be worth his salt and defeats the Midianites. He even gains confidence chasing down the kings that escaped the attack (8:12).
At the end of this quick, yet fascinating Bible story synopsis, I hope you see where I'm going with this. Gideon allowed his fear to dictate his actions. Some pretty bold requests were made of God in the spirit of fear and uncertainty. These emotions keep us from trusting God can and will do what He says He will do. Getting to the conclusion of these promises may be fraught with fear and laced with anxiety, and like Gideon, we ask questions, demand proof, and are uncertain all the way. We chant the mantra of "Lions and Tigers and Bears" through our haunted forest, allowing the unknown to grip us in it's unforgiving talons.
But I just want to remind you, as I've been reminded through this terrifying journey of adoption, our God will not bring you to it, not to bring you through it. Be "confident in this, that He who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus" Phil 1:6
I was worried about so many things, and in the spirit of honesty, I still am going into and through this process of adoption. I've mentioned them along the way in this blog, so go back and read them. But it's becoming ever so apparent to this modern day, female Gideon that God is big and God is good. God knows His stuff and will not let me down. He will see this through to completion. And even when it's hard, and even when the haunted forest starts up with its creepy noises, and even when the scary music cues, He's right there beside me.
Before I finish this blog entry, I want to share my most recent fear and the process that God has brought me through to show me He's in control. I was terrified about the home study commencing. I had no idea what to expect, and let's face it, no one in their right mind relishes the idea of meeting with a social worker to discuss the good, bad and ugly details of your family's life, wondering what's crossing their mind when you reveal them. It's like getting told DSS has been called in to evaluate your family. But from the moment we met her to the hug we received from her when we left, and all the spiritual encouragement she gave in between, God was rubbing my back, letting me know that it was gonna be okay. He had it all along. We have 2 more visits to go, and I am actually looking forward to those visits! How my perspective has changed.
How great is our God.
No comments:
Post a Comment